can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
