You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I will pee on everything he values.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
