I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
