So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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