HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
