Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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