Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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