i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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