Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
too bad you live with your parents still
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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