Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
