I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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