Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
