I'm eating all of the evidence.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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