DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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