Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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