Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation

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(910): View more from North Carolina

ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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(323): View more from California

Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.

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(206): View more from Washington

And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We're going to catch a squirrel this summer

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(530): View more from California

I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.

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(253): View more from Washington

someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...

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