i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
MIDGETS
????
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
