Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
