I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
