there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
