I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
