I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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