So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
