I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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