just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
