Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
