**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
