I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
