Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
