Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
