she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
