There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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