Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
