WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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