So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
