Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
