My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
