I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
