get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
