what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
