So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
