How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
