the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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