im drinking this country out of the recession.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
