I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
