I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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