so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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