Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
