I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
