i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
time to smoke my breakfast
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
