How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
