"it" just moved
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
