When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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