So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
