Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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