Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
