I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
