dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I am one with the molecules
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
