do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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