Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
