I wanna bring you to show and tell
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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