im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
