Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
