Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
