i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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