is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
