Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
