I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently you make a good broom.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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