Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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